Exactly Like You: A Cupid Cafe Story Read online

  Oh, the condom. She’d have been fine just staying like that all night, but… well, she’d known what this was.

  He moved to the door of the tent, and she turned away, gathering her clothes, to give him privacy while he removed the condom and slipped into his pants to take it out to the garbage.

  When he came back, Roxie was in her tank top and panties, trying to figure out where her sweats could’ve gotten off to. It was a small space. Maybe they were under the sleeping bags? Anything was possible. They’d been all over the tent.

  He laid down on his sleeping bag on his side and held up an arm. “Come here.”

  “But I can’t find my pants.” She was having a hard time meeting his gaze. Would he try to give her “the talk” again, like he did when they kissed the first time?

  “It’s hot. You don’t need them. If you get cold, we’ll pull the sleeping bag over you.”

  She crawled over to him and laid down. She purposefully faced away from him, so he’d know she didn’t expect to snuggle. When his arm came around her and pulled her close, a squeak escaped her.

  So, in his scenario, snuggling was allowed. Okay, she could sleep like this. It felt damn good to be up against him, his arm wrapped around her middle. Still, she had a hard time falling asleep. He was out in minutes, but she lay there, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

  Chapter Eight

  Aidan woke the next day, all tangled with Roxie. He’d pulled one of the sleeping bags over them at some point, and they slept holding one another. The soap she used, something crisp and clean, with sugary vanilla undertones, filled his nostrils. He put his face to her neck and inhaled. He loved her smell.

  Damn.

  He’d never intended for this to happen. Had specifically told Kurt Roxie was too vulnerable for a one-night stand.

  Not that he wanted it to be one night, but what else was there? He loved talking with her. She made him laugh and had a unique view of life he’d never encountered before. And he’d thoroughly enjoyed making love to her. She’d been equal parts passion and constraint, unsure of herself. He wanted, more than anything, to put that spark he’d seen in her eyes last night back there, permanently.

  But, still. Since Miley’s death, he’d promised himself he’d never get too close to anyone again. Bad things happened all the time to everyone. Someone could be the love of your life and the next instant, they were sick and dying, and you had to watch them suffer, powerless to stop it.

  He couldn’t do that again.

  He climbed carefully out of the tent so he wouldn’t wake Roxie then started the old percolator for coffee. He had to let her know last night had been a mistake—no, definitely not a mistake. Every second had been absolutely perfect. But… an accident. Yeah. It was just like a train wreck. He looked away for a second, then there they were, all piled up together.

  Roxie climbed out of the tent on her knees then stood up. At some point after he left, she’d located her sweatpants and pulled them on. Her nipples were clearly defined through her tank and he had a hard time looking way.

  She glared at the shining sun. “I’m not a morning person,” she growled.

  “You want some breakfast?”

  “What could you possibly make for breakfast out here in the middle of nowhere?”

  “We’re in a state park, Rox. It’s not the Sahara.” He flipped open the lid of the cooler and pulled out a brown paper bag. After stoking the fire, he set a metal grill over it then put the bag on top. “Breakfast will be done soon.”

  He crossed to her and rubbed her bare arms with his hands. The mornings were always a little cool, even in summer, with a breeze coming off the lake. “You warm enough?”

  “I could use my hoodie. Unless you want to stand here and personally keep me warm.”

  He tipped her head up with a hand under her chin and kissed her, slow and thorough. Here he was, dancing closer and closer to the flames he’d warned himself to avoid.

  After he managed to pull himself away from her lips, he crawled into the tent and emerged with her hoodie, discarded before they made love.

  Shit. He was supposed to be telling her last night couldn’t happen again, yet he couldn’t stop touching her.

  Taking her hand, Aidan led her over to the large stump in their camp. They sat on the log, and he wrapped her in his arms to keep her warm. He liked the feel of it, the weight of her against his chest. Maybe too much. He wasn’t leading her on, he was working his way up to breaking the bad news.

  After a bit, he hopped up and emptied the paper bag onto a plate. The bacon and eggs he’d lined the bag with were cooked now. He spread some on another plate and handed it to Roxie.

  “Seriously? Bacon and eggs from a paper bag? Are you magic, Aidan?”

  He smiled at her. “I camp a lot. Wait until you see dinner.”

  While they ate, they made small talk. Neither of them spoke of the night before, almost like it was too new and wonderful to pull out into the clear sunlight yet.

  Roxie cleaned her plate then tossed it in the garbage. “I assume we’re going to do all that walking you have planned today.”

  “It’s called ‘hiking.’ And, yeah. That’s on today’s busy agenda.”

  “No real mountain climbing, I hope. I forgot to bring my harness.”

  He chuckled. “Not this time. You need a little… a lot more practice.”

  “On that we agree.” She put her hands on her hips. “So, I guess I’m going to go in the tent and change for our hike.”

  Aidan cleaned up their breakfast mess and secured all the food since they’d be leaving the camp for several hours. He didn’t want to come back to a bear invading their supplies. He somehow doubted he’d ever convince Roxie to come camping again if that happened.

  But, wait. Was he really planning to make this a regular event? Especially when he couldn’t keep his hands to himself?

  Before he could think much more on it, Roxie came out of the tent. Her face was clear of all makeup, as usual, and she looked beautiful in the early morning sunlight. She’d pulled on a pair of black shorts and a t-shirt that read, “Coffee…because adulting is hard.” Her big, wild curls were pulled up into a precarious bun on top of her head. Littler curls had already made their way free to frame her face.

  It punched him in the gut, nearly taking his breath away, the realization something more was happening here. He couldn’t—didn’t want to—define it. He only knew one night had not been enough to get her out of his system. He ignored it, shoving it down and grabbed his backpack. “The trail we’re going on today starts close by, so we can walk to it.”

  “We’re walking to the trail so we can walk some more.”

  “I suppose.”

  She put on her own backpack, which looked awfully heavy. He hoped whatever she had in there wouldn’t weigh her down.

  “Just saying,” she went on as she made sure her hiking boots were tied, “I’m not a big fan of walking to be walking. I like for my walking to be purpose-driven.”

  “It’ll be good for you. Clear air, beautiful sights. We’re going to make our way partially around the lake.”

  “I’m only doing this because I like you.” She froze and gave him a quick look. “Like, not in a romantic… that’s not what I was saying. Obviously, I like you in a romantic way, but I didn’t intend at all to bring it up.”

  He crossed over and put his hands on her shoulders. “Can we agree to not let things turn weird? We should talk.”

  “No, we shouldn’t. We should walk. We’re hikers right now, so let’s hike.”

  It went against his better judgment, but it wasn’t like he was ready to have the talk. He had no idea what to say. I think I’m falling for you, so we should probably shut this down? That only made sense in his twisted mind. What kind of response would she have?

  He had to figure out what to say to her. He didn’t want her to feel used. He hadn’t used her. He’d wanted her, only her, last night. More than wanted, he’d been possessed by
the idea of having her. Maybe he still was.

  Leading the way, he showed her to the trailhead. It was in a natural clearing, and thin rays of sunlight glistened through the trees that surrounded them. Through the leaves, the lake shone like a thousand tiny diamonds reflecting the sun. “What do you think?”

  “I think it was worth the walk, but I have a sinking feeling we’re just getting started.”

  “Um, yeah. This is the beginning of the hike.”

  “I knew you were going to say that. Okay, lead the way then.”

  He paused beside her, letting his hand rest on her cheek. With his thumb, he toyed with her lips in an absent way. He’d much rather go back to the campsite and repeat last night’s events.

  Her eyes fluttered closed at his touch. “This is all very confusing.”

  “For me, too.” He dropped his hand and tightened his backpack. “Let’s get a move on.”

  He wished he wasn’t so torn. A huge part of him wanted her—again and again, until he was finally satisfied. Another part, clamoring for attention, yelled, Danger! Abort, abort!

  He knew which side he wanted to listen to, knew his feelings for Roxie were interfering with his own ability to logic this out.

  *

  After what seemed like miles, Aidan indicated they should stop. “Time to hydrate.”

  She rolled her eyes. She needed water, from sweating in the midmorning sun, and possibly a nap. She was already exhausted, and they hadn’t even turned back toward the campsite yet.

  “Did you say you brought snacks?” Aidan asked.

  “I’m all over this.” She twisted her backpack off and opened it up to pull out three brands of Doritos, trail mix with nuts, raisins, and M&Ms, and a protein bar. “Pick your poison.”

  He grinned at her and plucked the protein bar from her hand. “We should talk about last night.”

  “Let’s not.” She was deep in denial and happy to be there. She didn’t want to think about what it meant or what happened next. They should just ignore each other for the trip, and figure it all out later.

  So many things were trampling through her mind. She worried about her curse, about how everything good in her life always turned to shit. She worried about Aidan’s job. She worried he was going to tell her it was just one of those things that happened. That he hadn’t wanted her—he’d been horny and she was nearby.

  “You’ve got those lines in your forehead that say you’re worrying about something. I think it would be best for both of us if we discuss it. We’re grownups. Neither of us were virgins.”

  “Stop, Aidan. I’m serious. You’re ruining the vibe of this place.” She sat down on a giant rock and crossed her legs under her, picking her way through a bag of Doritos. “We can talk about real life when we get back to it. For now, this is fantasyland with lots and lots of walking.”

  Her muscles were sore, a little from their lovemaking, because it had been a while, and a lot from all the walking. They still had to make their way back to camp.

  He polished off the protein bar and slapped his hands together to get rid of the residue. “So your fantasyland doesn’t have walking?”

  “Nope. In my fantasyland, there are little chairs that float us everywhere we need to go.”

  “Then why did you come camping? It’s nature and hikes. Sleeping on the ground. I bet there are beds in this fantasyland of yours.”

  “Let’s not over-examine the metaphor. It’s like a dream… you come at it logically and it’s just so much vapor.” She brushed the crumbs off her lap, took a swig of the water, then put the trash in her backpack so they could dispose of it when they got back to camp.

  He looked out over the lake for a minute. “Let’s head back to camp. It’ll be lunch by the time we get back.”

  “Sure.”

  Side-by-side, they turned around and picked their way over the trail. The views of the lake were beautiful, and fishing boats littered it now, sun shining off their hulls. She wished she’d packed sunglasses. All the sunlight was giving her a headache. And the thought of discussing last night—which they surely had to do before tonight or things would be awkward—was making her stomach queasy.

  When they got back to their camp, it was noon and they made sandwiches together for lunch.

  “I’m glad you were in charge of packing food. I would’ve never thought to be this thorough.”

  He’d brought every kind of lunch meat she could think of, two types of cheese, and wheat and white bread. He’d even packed pickles to go with them.

  He set his untouched sandwich aside and packed the food back into the cooler. “Mm, but we’ll need more ice tonight or tomorrow. Ours is melting.”

  She was starved, and began to wolf down her sandwich. “I could drive your truck to the little store and pick some up,” she said, between bites.

  “Now? Alone?” His eyebrows went up, like she’d suggested driving to New York to get the ice.

  “What? You don’t trust me to drive it? I know how to drive stick, and I promise to be careful.”

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll clean up our lunch mess and empty the water from the cooler.”

  “Awesome.” She finished off her sandwich and threw the trash away. “Keys?”

  He handed her the keys and she hopped in, not looking back. She needed five minutes, where he wasn’t there and being perfect, so she could think.

  First of all, there was the fact he was a hot firefighter. Was he just with her on this trip because they were alone and she was there?

  She drove down the winding road and crinkled her nose at the idea. Did that mean his whole reason for bringing her was to get laid? Not that she hadn’t been a more than willing participant.

  No, she didn’t believe that about him. He was too kind to her for it to all be an act to get her into bed. She wasn’t enough a prize to go to that much trouble. Especially not anymore.

  So, that meant it was a mistake. A bodies-crashing-together mistake.

  Her hiking boots clomped over the wood floor of the small general store. Maybe she should let him talk, see what he wanted to discuss. It couldn’t be worse than what she was imagining.

  Roxie bought a big bag of ice, loaded it in the passenger-side of the truck, and headed back to camp, determined to let Aidan have his say. Whatever he said, she’d take it in stride. She would not let it depress her more because she’d gotten to be with him, to feel his kisses on her skin and the way he thrust inside of her like she was the only person in the world, and that was worth the discomfort of hearing it was a mistake.

  *

  When she pulled in, he slung the bag of ice on his shoulder. He’d decided while she was gone they were going to talk about last night when she got back. He’d tell her he was sorry for the accident—not mistake—and that would be that. He’d have to suck it up if he still wanted her. He couldn’t tell her that and expect her to ever want to be with him again. “You’re really good at avoiding things, but I can’t.”

  “I’m a pro at avoiding unpleasantness at this point, but let’s go ahead and go there. My mind is messing with me.”

  He dumped the ice in the cooler and turned to face her. “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “I knew it.” She looked away from him.

  Were her eyes glistening in the sun? Or were his eyes just playing tricks on him?

  “Hear me out, Rox.”

  She walked away from him to sit down on the log stump. “Oh, I’m listening. Please, go on.”

  “It was an accident.”

  “Like… a car crash? Or spilling sauce on your clothes? A dare gone wrong? Wow, that’s flattering as hell.”

  “Not like those things. Those are bad things. This was a great thing, but it was unintended. I didn’t bring you here to have it happen.” He hauled himself up on top of the picnic table. He wanted to take her in his arms, but that would be exactly the wrong thing at this moment.

  “I’m aware. You’re a good person, Aidan.”

  Her high opinion
of him made him feel worse because, honestly, he was feeding her a load of horse shit. He hadn’t planned for it, but he’d known since the night he kissed her he wanted it to happen. He still wanted it to happen.

  She crossed her arms over her breasts and looked down at her feet. “I don’t think you owe me an apology. You shouldn’t take all the blame. Close quarters, could’ve happened with anybody.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He held up his hands in front of him. “I never said that. It wouldn’t have happened with anybody. I wanted you.”

  He should tell her she’d had him about half out of his mind with desire, that he’d been thinking of what it would be like to be with her since the kiss—even if he hadn’t been ready to admit it to himself. And it had been everything he’d thought it would be and much more. Yet, he couldn’t say all that, because it would open a door he wasn’t ready to open, wouldn’t ever be ready to open.

  “Look, like you said, we’re both grownups. It’s not a big deal.”

  “I didn’t say it wasn’t a big deal.” He didn’t know why, but her attitude was grating his nerves. He felt like he had taken advantage of her and was now pushing her away, and he never wanted to make her feel used.

  “Whatever. What else is on the agenda for today? More walking?”

  “Um… no. I figured one hike would be enough for you.”

  She stood up from the log and paced around the campsite. “Well, I’m going for a walk.”

  “You can’t go for a walk. You could get lost. And you need to take water with you.”

  She grabbed water out of the cooler and turned on him, one hand fisted on her hip. “I’ll stick to the road. But, I am taking a walk.”

  She was upset, that much was obvious to him. Maybe she did need to cool down some. He sure could use a little bit of time to think of how he wanted to handle things now, to regroup since it had gone so badly. “Okay, well, stick to the road.”

  “Fine,” she shot over her shoulder as she stalked away.

  He watched her until she rounded a bend in the road and disappeared. Shit, he’d screwed that up. He’d told Kurt Roxie was vulnerable. It hadn’t occurred to him if he used the good-kind-of-accident analogy she’d get her feelings hurt.