Exactly Like You: A Cupid Cafe Story Page 5

  “What has she been through? You keep talking about how vulnerable she is, but you never said.” Kurt settled into a chair beside Aidan, still not finished with the inquisition.

  “I’m not sure. I only know something happened at her job. She quit, and her life basically crumbled around her. It’s awful, especially because she’s one of the good guys, you know?”

  “Yeah, okay.” Kurt stuck his legs out in front of him and crossed his arms. “That sucks.”

  “Life tends to do that.” Aidan watched traffic go by. He wished they could discuss the upcoming baseball games or … hell, anything but Roxie. It was bad enough Aidan couldn’t stop thinking about her. She sure didn’t need Kurt added to the list.

  Aidan came to pick her up a couple of days after their phone call. Roxie waited outside, as far from the prying eyes of her mother as possible. It was his day off from fighting fires and rescuing kittens, or whatever he did on the job.

  He pulled up to the curb in a shiny black pickup truck she’d never seen before. She missed the motorcycle already, but with the huge inflatable raft in the bed, the bike probably wasn’t all that practical.

  He got out of his truck and eyed her mostly empty backpack. It had some water and snacks in it. “Did you pack towels and an extra set of clothes, just in case?”

  “No. I’ve never been rafting. How would I know what to pack?”

  “Right. Let’s go.” Aidan shrugged. “It’s a two-hour drive one way to get to the whitewater rafting.”

  They climbed into his truck and Roxie turned to him. “Like rapids? You just said rafting before.”

  “They’re mild rapids.” He put the truck in drive and pulled out onto the street. “Guess I forgot to mention that part.”

  “Pretty big part.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that.” He gave a chuckle. “So tell me the real reason you decided to go.”

  “I just really wanted to float in an inflatable device over rushing water and sharp rocks. It sounds like a good time.” She’d forgotten to buckle up. Grabbing the belt, she pulled it across and clicked it into place. This might not be the best plan. Accidentally killing herself while trying to prove to her parents she wasn’t actively trying to kill herself probably wouldn’t be much consolation to them.

  “It doesn’t sound like you think it’s a good time.”

  “Well… I do. I can’t contain my enthusiasm.”

  He shifted the truck into a higher gear as they sped out of the suburbs and into the country. “Here’s a thought: why don’t we just be honest with each other?”

  She stared down at her bare legs, growing cold thanks to Aidan’s air conditioner. She shifted the air vent away from her shorts but then it just smacked her in the face with cold air. “Here’s a question: why do you feel the need to get me out of the house to go partake in dangerous activities?”

  He paused, gaze intent on the road for a few minutes.

  “That’s what I thought,” she said. He had no intention of telling her his real reasons.

  Roxie was deeply attracted and maybe even crushing on this guy, and she didn’t need that in her barely maintained world. She was a wreck. Why would someone like him be attracted to someone like her? It was crazy—she was crazy.

  And even if he were… no.

  Losing her sister had been bad, a situation made worse by choices Roxie couldn’t control. Sometimes, if she said aloud what she believed, it sounded ridiculous. Yet after a woman died because of Roxie’s actions—or maybe her lack of action—she couldn’t avoid the curse of being her. Two losses she should have been able to avoid, right? Everything she loved fell apart. Her family. Her work. Her patients. The curse was inevitable. No way could she continue as a social worker after that. It wasn’t good for anyone. Why was she even thinking of love? This was a crush, nothing more. He hadn’t meant to kiss her, and it probably would never happen again.

  “What are you concentrating so hard on over there? Earth to Roxie.”

  “You keep your questions to yourself. You still haven’t answered mine.”

  Aidan sighed and glanced at her, then back at the road. “I…want to help you.”

  “You feel sorry for me. That’s great. Is that why you kissed me? A little pity passion?” She turned her head to look out the window. She wished she were anywhere but there.

  “I kissed you because… it felt right at the time. I don’t know why, honestly, but I can tell you it had nothing to do with pity. None of this does.” He reached over and took her hand in his until she faced him. “Rox, just enjoy the experiences life hands you, okay? I’m here, and I’m offering to give you awe-inspiring, life-affirming times. Is that so bad?”

  She shook her head. She wouldn’t even be doing this if it weren’t for her parents’ concern for her. She was trapped. He probably actually did feel she was pathetic, but what choice did she have? She needed him. All her other friends had grown tired of trying to draw her out and finally, they’d given up on her.

  Right now, she needed a friend in the most desperate way. “So where are we going and what happens when we get there?”

  “We put on life jackets and we get in the water.” He shifted down as they climbed a hill.

  “We get in the water, or we put the boat in the water and get in the boat?” It was easier to banter with him than to think about the kiss, about all the reasons it shouldn’t happen again—even if she wanted it to.

  “Smart ass.” He grinned at her and it was a wicked sight. God, that smile was sexy. “Yeah, we put the boat in water then get in the boat.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes. Roxie gave him sidelong glances, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He looked so strong and hot, his muscular legs shaded with black hair, the way his t-shirt stretched across his chest. She had to say something, because suddenly, even with the air conditioner hitting her in the face, she was getting very warm.

  “Tell me about fighting fires. What’s that like?” she asked.

  “About what you’d expect: smoke, heat, water.”

  “You just described wet t-shirt night at Stooges.”

  Aidan gave her an appraising glance. “You go there a lot?”

  “I don’t go anywhere, not anymore.” In fact, her stomach was shredded with nerves just from being alone with him.

  “We’re going to change that.”

  Roxie looked at him. What had she done to deserve someone being so kind to her? Nothing she could think of. She’d failed as a social worker, a sister, a daughter… maybe she could be a friend.

  Chapter Five

  The two of them arrived at Elkhorn Creek outside of Lexington, just below the Jim Beam Distillery Dam. They had chatted a little more in the truck, but Roxie had done her best to steer them toward conversations that didn’t involve her or her former job.

  She stood by, useless, while Aidan untied the raft from its place in the back of the truck.

  He tossed her a life jacket. “Put that on.”

  Roxie looked down at it in her hands, then pulled it on and hooked it together. Uneasiness snaked through her belly to sit on her chest like a rock. “Wow. I’m doing this.”

  “You came all this way and you weren’t sure if you were doing it?”

  “I’ve learned not to try to predict my own behavior. It works out best for me.”

  He put their stuff in what looked like a giant freezer bag, then placed it in the front of the raft. “Your job is watching our stuff.”

  “I have a job now? That was not part of the deal.”

  “Everyone has a job when you’re rafting.” He gave her a big smile, dragging the raft closer to the water. “I’ll paddle, steering us through the rapids, because I’ve been here a time or two.”

  The small, inflatable craft was nearly in the water now, just touching the bank. “Get in,” he said.

  Roxie climbed in, and the raft moved beneath her. Aidan anchored it to the bank, and she couldn’t help wondering what would happen if he lost it and she were out in th
e water, alone. Damn anxiety. Always making her expect the worst.

  She ended up half-crawling to her position in the front of the raft. It seemed safer to keep her center of gravity closer to the craft. Finally, she plopped down, ankles crossed, as graceful as a bull.

  Aidan pushed the boat off, keeping hold of it the whole time, to Roxie’s relief. He hopped in and sat, paddle in hand once they were away from shore. Then he steered them toward the quickly moving water in the center.

  Roxie recoiled when the cool water first sprayed her in the face. The raft started moving, carried by the rapids, with Aidan steering here and there to guide them away from sharp rocks and into the flow of water.

  They bumped into and whooshed over smooth rocks, all the time water rushing at them. It was exhilarating, all that water splashing in her face, like a mad, out-of-control roller-coaster ride. She loved it.

  Aidan was breathing hard, and she hated that she was too inexperienced to help him paddle. He was getting a workout while she was having the time of her life. Typical Roxie, letting someone else do all the work. She shook her head, shoving the negative thought away. No. She refused to do that right now, to put herself down instead of reveling in this experience.

  She focused on being in the moment, a trick she knew from her social worker days. She could turn off the self-hating thoughts and enjoy this second. Water surged at them, or rather they surged through it. Rock created sprays soaked her through while creating little rainbows on the river. She didn’t know how Aidan did it—he must have the reflexes of a cat—but he managed to move them this way or that way, clear of the more dangerous outcroppings.

  When they slowed down, he steered them to the bank with his paddle and hopped out to pull the boat onto land.

  Roxie climbed out and helped him drag the raft. Dripping water, she smiled for the first time in so long she couldn’t remember. Sometimes her cat made her smile because he snuggled up with her, but not like this. This was a face-splitting, cheeks-hurting, can’t-stop grin.

  Aidan pulled the waterproof baggie from the raft and handed her a towel and a bottle of water.

  “More water?” she asked.

  “Did you get too much?”

  “Are you kidding? I’d do that every day if I could.”

  Aidan laughed, a delicious sound she wanted to hear again. “We’ll do it again sometime, I promise. Maybe do a little camping. I’ll set it up.”

  Considering it, she peered at him. Did she want to go camping, alone, with this man she couldn’t seem to stop thinking of? She’d have to get over it, control her emotions. She had to make up her mind and put those thoughts out of her head. Eradicate them, every single time they popped up.

  Like now, with his hair slicked back, showing his widow’s peak hairline, and his hazel-green eyes gleaming. Roxie swallowed hard. “Camping would be fun. Probably, I don’t know, because I’ve never gone. But, if it gets me out of the house, I’m all for it.”

  Aidan sat down on a stump and studied her. “Why are you so keen to get out of the house? You said you don’t go anywhere except the cat rescue.”

  Roxie spread her towel on the ground and sat down cross-legged across from him. “Going to Cupid’s Cafe was the first time I’d been out in…” Did she dare tell him how bad her depression had inhibited her? That, if it weren’t for him, she’d probably still be sitting in the house, wandering around with her cat? “Well, I mean, I go to the cat rescue. So if that counts, I go out three times a week.”

  “What do you do at the cat rescue?”

  “Well… you really care? Like you truly want to know? Because it bores my mother to tears.” She stretched out on the towel, leaning back on her elbows to let the sun dry her.

  Aidan nodded. “I seriously want to know. I have no idea how you would socialize a cat or get a feral animal to eat out of your hand.”

  “Okay, so let’s say this cat is found and brought in. It’s feral, which is not the same as just scared, although they can look similar. Just scared cats respond much quicker.”

  “Got it. Go on.”

  “There’s a room for new cats. It’s quiet. There’s lot of high places so they can see everything. Food bowls and a litter box, some toys.”

  “Like a nursery.”

  She smiled at his comparison. “Something like that, I suppose. At first, you can’t approach the cats. Everything seems dangerous to a feral cat, even a scared cat. Especially the human. So, you go in the room. You don’t approach them or try to pet them or calm them down. You let them acclimate to your presence. Once they relax a bit—”

  “How do you know they’ve relaxed?”

  “They start playing, moving around the room. Then you start talking to them.”

  He tilted his head and quirked his lips in a grin. “Talking to them? What do you talk about?”

  She’d done her fair share of talking about Aidan lately. “It doesn’t matter. They don’t understand you, obviously. They just learn to get used to your voice, let it become another part of the room.”

  “Then you can pet them.”

  “Then you can approach them. You have treats for them, and if they come close, they get a treat. They associate something positive with you. But they get to be the boss. That’s important. I’d say that’s important for anyone. No one wants to be touched without their consent.”

  “The social worker pokes her head out. I knew she was still in there somewhere.” His voice was soft, considering.

  She jerked away from where she’d been gazing at the river back to him. She didn’t know what to say. How could she tell him she never wanted to identify with that part of herself again, not when a woman had been murdered because she’d failed to recognize the danger in someone she saw just hours before?

  “Okay, I can tell by your expression that was definitely the wrong thing to say. I’m sorry.” He leaned forward. “Seriously, I’m sorry. How about I go with you to the cat rescue some day?”

  Roxie ran a hand through her drying curls. “Why are you so nice to me? So interested in my life? Not that it’s not convenient, but, seriously, why?”

  “What do you mean by convenient?”

  She quirked her lips to the side and huffed. She couldn’t pursue her question without answering his, and she didn’t want to do that right now. Too much history she’d have to explain.

  *

  Why had he agreed to go to the least exciting place he could think of—a cat rescue? He sat on the tree stump and shook his head, unsure how to answer her question. Aidan couldn’t tell Roxie his real reasons for bringing her rafting, for agreeing to go to the cat rescue, because if she knew he felt he owed her for doing her job and taking care of him and Miley, then she would balk at accepting the help. And he could see she was miserable.

  What did she mean by convenient, though?

  It’d also be helpful if she could stop looking so stunning. She sat on a towel, on the ground, soaking wet, hair drying in big, fat curls around her face. Her almond eyes, green with bronze flecks, flashed in the sunlight. And the outline of her bra showed through her wet, pale pink T-shirt. He should’ve warned her how wet they would get. But, come on. It involved getting into the middle of a river.

  Was she trying to look sexy? He dismissed the idea quickly. She wasn’t flirting with him, for one. And a person couldn’t look sexy whitewater rafting. It was too messy and unpredictable.

  No, she possessed a natural beauty.

  “Why are you staring at me? It was the convenient comment, right?”

  “Uhh… right. You didn’t say, what’s that about?”

  She heaved a sigh. “The timing is right for me to get out of the house. That’s all.”

  “It’s a timing thing.”

  “Yes.”

  “Somehow I think there’s more to it.” He stood and held a hand out to help her up. “But I’ll let it go.”

  She grasped his hand and he pulled her to her feet too quickly. She stumbled into him and he put a hand on her
waist to steady her. Those gorgeous eyes met his and he considered kissing her again. One quick kiss, what could it hurt?

  But, it wouldn’t be enough. He’d want more from her.

  Her throat worked and she placed a hand on his chest. “How do we get back to the truck?”

  “We walk.” He dropped his hand from her waist and turned away, began to gather their things up and stuffed them back in the waterproof bag.

  She picked up her towel from the ground and shook the leaves and dirt from it. “What about the boat?”

  “We let the air out and carry it. It’s only a few miles.” He opened the valve to let the air escape, making quick business of deflating it, folding it, then rolling it up. He tied the waterproof bag and raft together, then threw the bundle over his shoulder.

  She didn’t say much as they began their trek back to the vehicle and he was glad, because he had all these thoughts of kissing her, spreading a towel and pulling her to the ground, making out with her until she was breathless.

  What he needed was to get laid. It had been months since he’d taken a lover. He glanced back at Roxie. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you have a boyfriend?”

  “I’m not sure how to take that the right way.” She paused, cocked her head to the side, and fisted a hand on her hip. “Why?”

  Because I really want to kiss you and a boyfriend would be a good enough reason to stop with the wanting. “Just curious about you.” He turned and walked backwards to get her moving again.

  “Okay.” She moved forward, catching up with him and glancing around the woods. “It’s so serene here. I think I love this place.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.” He bumped her with his hip. “Is some guy going to show up on my doorstep to beat me up for kissing you?”

  “I had a boyfriend, before. When I was still working, when I wasn’t crazy. It wasn’t as serious as I thought it was, because when I started getting depressed, I turned into ‘a drag.’ So, he left.” She shrugged. “I don’t much blame him. I’d leave me, if I could.”