Exactly Like You: A Cupid Cafe Story Page 15

  He’d been so obsessed with managing her, making sure he didn’t lose her, he’d pushed her away. He’d go talk to her in the morning when his shift was over.

  The code for their ladder company sounded over the scanner. There was a commercial building on fire close to the station. He’d have to fight fire tonight with his company and then he’d go see Roxie.

  Roxie sat in her window seat and looked out at the night sky. Her heart felt bruised and beaten down. She’d lost Aidan, but then that was always what would have happened.

  Even if she’d done everything he asked and gone to therapy, taken the medicine, she’d have lost him. She was destined to never keep happiness. Sure, maybe she’d get glimpses of it here and there in her life, enough to make her really want it, but to have? Never.

  There was a knock on her door and she swiped at her eyes with the tissues in her hand then hid them under her hip. “Come in,” she called out.

  Her father must’ve told Meredith what had happened while she’d been gone to the grocery store this morning. He didn’t know the details, but he’d known Aidan had left because she’d been crying too hard to see him anymore.

  Her mom was a smart woman. She’d connect enough of the dots she’d want to comb all the bits of info her dad had missed from Roxie.

  When the door opened, it wasn’t her mother at all. Her dad, Gary, stood in her doorway. For a long minute, he stared at her. Was he going to actually speak to her or wander away?

  Her father cleared his throat. “You doing okay, baby?”

  Roxie was so surprised she stood up, tissues tumbling to the floor. She wiped her hands on her shorts. “I’m okay, Daddy.”

  “That man who came by today… was he your gentleman friend?” He meant boyfriend, but he thought her too old to call him that.

  “I suppose he was, but not anymore.”

  Gary stepped into the bedroom and flipped on the light. Roxie had been sitting in darkness, crying and looking at the stars, and she shielded her eyes from the sudden flood of it in the room.

  “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

  “Daddy… where’s Mom?”

  “She’s making dinner. Why?”

  Roxie couldn’t help it. When her father suddenly started talking to her, an overwhelming fear took hold that something must’ve happened to her mother, their go-between for the last six months. “Just… wondering.”

  Gary sat down on the bed, crossed his legs at the ankles, then uncrossed them and put his feet flat on the floor. He patted the bed beside him. “Come sit down.”

  Roxie, ever-obedient since her sister’s death, crossed the room and sat down beside him. She stared at her hands, useless in her lap.

  “Why don’t you tell me about the argument you had with your gentleman friend.”

  “Daddy, you don’t want to know. It involves the d-word.”

  “What’s the d-word?” His brows were drawn down in a confused frown.

  “You know… depression.”

  “Ah. So he’s upset you’re depressed. That doesn’t seem fair.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Roxie turned to stare at him, eyes wide. “You literally stopped speaking to me for six months because of my depression.”

  “I-I didn’t stop speaking to you as some form of punishment.”

  “I know that. I know why you did it. I just don’t think you should be throwing stones at Aidan’s character.” She shifted on the bed, sitting back against the wall, her legs crisscrossed in front of her.

  “I know I messed up. I didn’t know what to say, so I hid behind that and let your mother handle it. Truthfully, I’ve let your mother handle every hard thing that’s ever had to be handled in this family.” He sighed and looked up at the corner of the room.

  Roxie followed his gaze but saw nothing unusual. “I told you, I know why. It’s okay.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way, but maybe you shouldn’t let me off the hook that easily. Are you going to cut this Aidan a break, too?”

  “What do you mean?” Roxie asked.

  “Are you going to forgive him for his imperfect reaction to a difficult illness?”

  She bristled at that, her voice going sterner than she intended. “I wish people would stop calling me sick. It’s not the flu. I can’t stay in bed and drink liquids until it clears up. It’s a complex array of symptoms with no real known cure.”

  He father turned to look at her. “You know all that from your social work days?”

  “I guess so. Mental health is part of the licensing exam.” She shrugged. What did it matter why she knew? She knew more than the average sufferer, but she imagined anyone with depression would read up on it. She had.

  “You think you’ll ever go back? To social work?”

  “I really don’t think so, Daddy. I let people down and I don’t think I could ever take that chance again.”

  “I let you down. Do you suppose I should never father again? Just give up on being your dad, since I didn’t handle things the way I should have?” He twisted to gaze at her and didn’t look away, even when she became uncomfortable and turned toward the window. “Don’t own what you didn’t cause, isn’t that what you used to say?”

  “Why are you talking to me now?” She had to ask. What had changed? Was she less scary now that she’d managed to get a boyfriend? Did that mean she was out of the woods, as far as her father was concerned?

  “Because I want you to be happy.”

  She barked bitter laughter. “Well, that’s not ever going to happen. I’ve never had a thing I loved that didn’t fall apart. Aidan, social work… Casey.”

  She couldn’t believe she’d said her sister’s name out loud. It was simply something she and her dad didn’t discuss—ever. It was like Casey had never existed. It used to piss Roxie off, like her dad was forgetting her, but then she realized it hurt him too bad to talk about her.

  “Casey,” he whispered. He cleared his throat again. “Casey would want you to be happy. She really would. She’d want you to have what she couldn’t find.”

  Roxie pushed herself off the bed, arms crossed like the angry teen she’d been. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at. What do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to forgive this gentleman friend of yours. And, to be honest…” He pushed himself up off the bed. “I want you to forgive yourself Roxanne.”

  She swallowed several times, her mouth gone dry. “I’ll think about it.”

  “That’s all I can ask.” He crossed to her and leaned down to place a kiss on top of her head. “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too, Daddy. So much.” She wrapped her arms around him and he hugged her back. Relief rushed through her and she started crying again.

  He held her until the tears stopped. “I swear, I’ll never desert you again.”

  Roxie nodded, too moved to speak. She’d take her dad’s words to heart and really think about it. She could absolutely forgive Aidan. The question was, could he accept her for who she was?

  Aidan drove to Roxie’s house from the hospital. It had been a long night fighting the fire and a beam had fallen on Kurt, pinning him in place as they fought to put out the last of it. Aidan and another friend had moved it and pulled Kurt to safety.

  Kurt’s legs had been crushed and it would be a while before he was walking again, although the doc gave him good odds.

  All Aidan could think about, once he knew Kurt was safe, was what if that had been him? Roxie had never once complained his job was too dangerous, though he himself had balked at taking a chance on her so long as she was living with depression.

  For now, he stood on her porch at seven a.m. and knocked softly on the door. Somehow, he had this idea it was too early for rapping on it. Disturbing them at all this early was a bad idea, but he couldn’t wait another minute to talk to her.

  After a moment, her father answered the door in a blue bathrobe. He eyed Aidan, freshly showered but probably still smelling like smoke. “Roxa
nne! Your gentleman friend is here to see you.”

  “Hello, Mr. Fisher,” Aidan said in his most polite voice.

  “Good morning. Roxie is not an early riser, so I hope whatever you’re here for is important.”

  “It’s crucial I talk to her as soon as possible.”

  “Your funeral, son.” With that, Mr. Fisher turned and walked away, leaving the door open a crack

  Aidan waited on the front porch and eventually Roxie came to the door. Her hair was pulled over her shoulder in a hasty braid. She still wore a t-shirt that said, “If you think I’m delusional, you can’t ride my unicorn,” and a pair of black boxer shorts.

  “Aidan? What are you doing here?”

  Did she mean so early or at all? He couldn’t be sure and wouldn’t blame her for either question.

  “My best friend—his name is Kurt—got hurt on the job last night. Broke both his legs.”

  Her eyes widened. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Can I get you anything? Coffee or water?”

  He wanted desperately to go to her, to take her in his arms, to reassure himself they were both okay, they both had a second chance. Instead, he gripped the porch rail tight. “No. But can we talk?”

  She paused so long, he was sure she was going to say no, was just formulating her response in her head. Then she nodded. “I suppose. Not sure what else there is to say, though.”

  Turning, she walked back into the house, into the living room, and Aidan followed her.

  “Daddy, could we use the living room to talk? In private?”

  “Sure. I’ll just go check with your mother how breakfast is going.”

  So they were sticking close by. And when had her father started talking to her again? So much Aidan didn’t know and he was finally ready to admit it. Please let it be enough.

  She settled down in her father’s recliner, leaving him only the couch. He wished she’d sit with him. He wanted to touch her as he talked, to reassure her he meant what he was about to say. “I’ve been a hypocrite.”

  “How so? I disagree with your take on my depression, but you’re entitled to your opinion.”

  “But, I’ve been so worried about how it would affect me to lose you I never thought about how you might feel if the situations were reversed. The last day has taught me a lot. For one thing, I have a damn dangerous job.”

  “I’m aware of that. You risk your life every day… I admire you for it.”

  “Yeah, about that—I can risk my life, but I was too distracted to imagine my life without you in it. So much so, I was willing to let you go rather than take the risk. But… I don’t think you’re such a risk anymore.”

  She rose from the recliner to look out the big picture window onto the front yard. Aidan took his chance to join her there, but he didn’t put a hand on her. Not yet.

  “What changed your mind? It certainly wasn’t me.”

  “No.” He hung his head, ashamed of how bull-headed he’d been when she tried to talk to him about how she was. “It was someone else. Someone who was ready to jump off a balcony at The Galt House.”

  “A suicidal person took the time to convince you my depression wasn’t so bad?” Her brows were puckered. She was genuinely curious. Good.

  “A suicidal person who didn’t jump, thank God, made me realize I’d never seen you hopeless. I’ve seen you fight tirelessly every day I’ve spent with you. You fought to get out, you fought to climb the rock wall—swearing it wouldn’t beat you. You fought me. You’re a fighter, Rox. I should’ve recognized that in you.”

  “Even a fighter can fail. I’m not saying I will, because I’m not suicidal. I never have been. But anyone can fail.”

  He took her hand and brought it to his mouth, placing a tender kiss between her thumb and forefinger. “I failed. I was so scared of my past, I almost let it rob me of my future. I know the strong can fall. What I’m asking for is another chance.”

  “I don’t know, Aidan. Where can we possibly go from here?”

  Gentle, he pulled her into his arms. “I thought we’d start by actually dating instead of ‘hanging out.’ Not that it’ll be much different. I’ll still take you scary places, and you can take me to the cat rescue.”

  Her mouth was open in a perfect “O.” He’d taken her by surprise, and he hoped it wasn’t enough to spook her.

  “Aidan, there’s one big problem in all this planning. I told you I loved you and you weren’t able to say the words back to me. I need… I deserve to be loved.”

  “Yeah, that was fear, too. I loved you then, Rox. I love you now. I’ll love you for as long as I live.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and let the tears overtake her. For a minute, neither of them spoke.

  “Really?” Her voice was soft, vulnerable. As strong as she was, he could hurt her. He had hurt her. But he’d never do it again.

  “Absolutely.” They met in a kiss, their lips eager for one another, and it took his breath away. He’d thought he lost her forever.

  As they pulled apart, she noticed her father in the doorway of the living room. “Daddy.” Her cheeks flamed, like a teenager caught making out on the couch.

  “Good to see you kids worked everything out. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

  She smiled through the tears that had left streaks down her face. “Everything is fine, Daddy.”

  “I told you it would be.” He turned and walked away and they both watched him go.

  “So, he’s speaking to you now.” Aidan hugged her tight and swore he’d never let her go again.

  “He had to so he could tell me to give you another chance.”

  “Have I mentioned how much I like your dad?”

  “I need to tell you something,” Roxie said, her voice somber.

  “Anything. I promise to listen and never make stubborn judgments again.”

  “Good. Because I owe you an apology, too. I knew you were coming from a place of fear after what happened to Miley, but I was so stuck on not being labeled ‘depressed’ that I never even gave you a chance to talk it out with me.” She took a step back and took his hands in her own. “This was my fault as much as yours, and I’m sorry. I guess you’re not the only one who can be stubborn.”

  Relief crashed over him. He’d been so afraid of what she might say. That they just wouldn’t work, that she couldn’t see a future for the two of them. He’d never dreamed she’d apologize, and he was struck without words for a minute.

  “Please say you’ll forgive me.”

  He pulled her back into his arms. “I forgive you. I love you, Rox. Always will.”

  For the first time ever, life seemed to settle into place. As if it had been out of sync for the last thirty-one years and just found the right rhythm.

  Epilogue

  Roxie and Aidan sat side-by-side in a booth at Cupid’s Cafe, near the door. She’d just finished her first day at her new job, matching service cats and dogs to veterans with depression, anxiety, or PTSD.

  “So, how was work?” He bumped her shoulder with his, a grin splitting his face.

  “It was… very fulfilling. I met all the animals and did paperwork. When I got anxious, I went and hung out with the cats. Oh, and my assistant is a former client and an Army vet.”

  He placed a kiss on her nose. “That sounds like the perfect job, Rox. I’m so proud of you.”

  In the past six months, she’d made great strides with her depression. Not in small part due to her concession to seek therapy with someone who never knew her in her former life as a social worker.

  “Thank you.” Roxie pulled a folder out of her purse. “And that brings me to our next order of business.”

  She spread the three pieces of paper, a picture clipped to each one, out on the table. “We have to choose an apartment.”

  “You know which one I liked.” He made that adorable scowling face she loved so much.

  “I do. And you know I like the one with the window seat. Jinx will love it. And I might enjoy it, too.”

/>   Aidan took her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a tender kiss on her fingers. “Then we get the one with the window seat.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. I’m in the business of making you happy, lady.”

  Roxie leaned closer and gave Aidan a kiss, chaste enough for public consumption, but hot enough to leave her breathless. As she pulled back, a woman came through the door wearing a scowl on her face.

  Aidan leaned closer to whisper in her ear. “Looks like me the first time I came here.”

  Angel, the manager who greeted Roxie the first time she had come to Cupid’s Café, approached the woman and held out a hand to shake. “Ms. Downing, welcome!”

  “How do you know my name?” The woman ignored Angel’s outstretched hand and looked spooked enough to bolt. Roxie could sympathize.

  Angel placed a light touch on her shoulder. “You received a letter from Mr. Heart, did you not?”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “So he keeps me apprised when he’s expecting guests. If you’ll just follow me, we can…” They moved out of earshot as they neared the mermaid-carved coffee and drink bar.

  “Another letter from Mr. Heart.” Aidan raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you think…”

  “No way.” Roxie put the papers back into the folder. “It’s just a coincidence.”

  She looked around at the other couples, idly wondering how many were here because of the mysterious Mr. Heart, then she decided it didn’t matter.

  She and Aidan had fought hard for their happy beginning, matchmaker or not.

  About the Author

  Lori Sizemore grew up in the mountains of West Virginia and never quite managed to escape them. Lori lives at home with her husband of twenty-plus years and two of her three daughters. She also lives with two dogs, a cat, and five hermit crabs. Yes, five of them. This menagerie and her family keep her busy.

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  She worked in mental health as a social worker for ten years before making the choice to write full-time.

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